Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Blogging again...

Ah... despaired i was when blogspot was banned a few months back..for no matter how lazy i was.. it was always wonderful to look back at my most incoherent..never correct grammatically sentences.... Alhamdulillah..now it is back..just at the moment..i need a release of what is in my heart...

Nigeria... yup...the idea scared the hell out of people.. mostly disagreed...trying to discourage for change is scary...change from comfort to harshness may not be logical... discouragements came out of love... out of the inner need to protect... just like when baba was once totally against my beloved wanting to work at a private uni..but he did it anyway coz change was necessary.. change was needed for life to be diversed and for individuals to grow...in that case..for my beloved to grow and be independent...

I still havent dared to call my mom again even after my lil bro reassured me that she is now calmed down...i will soon i guess... after i can breathe a bit...

change is scary indeed... for my beloved..for my kids who have never really been away from their siblings...their cousins.. their love ones...to live as separate entities...in a world of the unknown...

nigeria is only 85 percent confirmed... but it is going towards 100%... he needs to do this... i need to do this.. and i believe the kids need to do this too...i worry of pakize and mimi.. of my two feline kids whom i will have to leave behind... and at the same time disturbing the zaim family, mostly mıstık, with the responsibilities of looking after them everyday... believe me.. if i can..i wouldnt want to burden anyone.....

And the money we set aside for malaysia will be gone too for nigeria, as well as the plan of sending my parents to umrah (for now)....and even though that cuts deep thru me... if Allah says BE... i think i will embrace the BE with an open heart... and my instinct tells me that as a family we need to do this. And if it signals that, then i believe in it... maybe within a year, i can start writing again..something i had abandoned many months ago...for if truth is to be told... i feel alive when i express my thoughts... so was i dead these last few months? Is that why i agreed to this nigeria????

Thank You for hopping by. Hope to see you again soon... :0)

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

best of luck Simah :) aku tau hang mesti bleh redah kat mana2 lokasi pun insyaAllah

~Lyn Hasan~

May 25, 2011 at 7:34 PM  
Blogger MULAN said...

niat yang baik akan mendapat balasan yang baik kelak simah, insyA... pray for your smooth journey, life etc in nigeria... kalo jadi la...

aik.. i tak leh pi turkey lagi laa... kena tunggu u balik dulu..

May 26, 2011 at 4:10 AM  
Blogger simah said...

lyn
***
thanks pal..insyaAllah aku akan redah.. dok terkilan pasal x leh balik mesia satu family tu.. huhuh

mulan
****
yup...kena postpone mai turki.. datang masa i ada la cik sayang ooii.. :0)

aminnnnnn... insyaAllah.. mcm jadi ja..

May 28, 2011 at 7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Salam Simah,
Bila Simah nak pergi? Baru terbaca posting ni. Anyway, I wish u all the best in what ever u do, where ever u are. I am sure u can adapt to the new life in no time, like u did before. Please keep in touch.
May Allah bless u and your family.

Kak Kiah

May 29, 2011 at 2:12 AM  

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