THE HOLY LAND :The first of hopefully many more…

When the topic came out, we had doubts of whether we could afford the trip. I personally felt that i was not worthy enough to be a guest of Allah. I mean, look at me! There are things in my life i was not proud of. Even the simplest of 5 times daily prayers, I was not performing fully. But if Allah say “BE”… then, that is what it shall be. Little did we know that when we were debating of our affordability, Hatice had dreamt that she was circling kaabah and she was crying. We didnt know it then, but our path to the holy land had been written and the invitation was handed out. And so we went….with HIS BLESSINGS…

I had read and heard of him. Of the history of the last Prohet Muhammad (S.A.W); of his struggle to bring out the glory of Islam,;of his book which is the BOOK of guidance to all mankind for all time. Meeting Rasulullah personally is not a question. Never in my dream would i ever dream that I would be seeing the place where the prophet was buried or the Al Masjid Al Nabawi, known as the Prophet’s mosque which is so famous in history. Yes, our journey to Kaabah started with our stay at Mövenpick hotel in Madinah where it is just a few steps away from Masjid Nabawi.

We reached Medina. The weather was undoubtly hot, 50 degree celcius i think.. But i was happy inside coz it was not humid. Humidity suffocates people. The group met just outside the gate of the mosque after we had unloaded our luggages to our own respective rooms. My heart was beating erratically.

Dup dap dup dap…I had always felt myself unworthy to be where holy persons or places are. And this is no ordinary place. I see some ladies started crying. I could see how deep their love is for our last Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)…I was thinking, *am i such a bad person that i cant cry like that?*….Like an army, as a group, we loudly said our *Assalamualaikum ya Rasulullah* and in a group, we all started reading the salawat for the Dear Prophet loudly with our right feet moving towards the entrance of the mosque’s gate. It was at that moment, as if the Prophet was answering our salam; a gush of wind caressed our bodies in such a way that made us felt welcomed. This is what i love best when moving with a group of Turks…we moved in unity…we read our salawat loudly in a musical tune as best as we could…The guide brought us in front of the green dome outside the mosque where the tomb of Rasulullah is located. Here, the guide said his salam to the prophets and some duas while we all huddled in a group following him verbally with tears falling from our eyes. It was no longer a contest of who could cry or who loves Rasulullah best…It was just simply plain raw emotions of love, even for a salam from outside the mosque.

I guess the guys are so much more lucky. They have the access to the heart of the mosque to a very special area named *Ar- Rawdah An Nabawiyyah* which extends from Rasulullah’s tomb to his pulpit almost at any time of the day. This is where the salam to Rasullullah is normally being said because it will as if you are talking to Rasulullah. And to be able to pray 2 rakaats at the *Garden of Jannah (heaven)* area is indeed a chance one should not miss coz all prayers there are never rejected. The guys can have access to the area all day except a certain time at night. We girls are not so lucky though. It is only after 10pm that the area is open to the ladies. And since the Ar Rawdah area can only accompany a few hundred people at one time, a system is made where the women are put into groups of turks, arabs,iranians,Indonesian/Malaysian and etc…That first night, i joined the group of turks to give our salam to Rasulullah. It took up till 12.30 midnight, hours of waiting just to reach the Garden of Jannah. Unsatisfied i was indeed. So the next evening, i went again,alone, this time joining the group of Indonesians….Alhamdulillah, i said my salam and i had also conveyed all the salams of friends and family to Rasulullah…From then onwards, i just simply said my salam to Rasulullah from whereever i was in the mosque area coz i believe that He could hear me whereever i was. I didnt need to wait from 10 till 12.30 midnight just to say my salam…Besides, my beloved and Baddin go there every day. I simply asked them to include my salam as well…

Masjid Al Nabawi from outside..

At the other side of the hole lies Rasulullah...

The famous green Dome where rests the body of our last Prophet..

Baddin inside Masjid Nabawi...

The green dome at nite...

A boy busy reading the Quran...

While we were there, our family got separated naturally. Baddin was following my beloved while Hatice was my shadow. We all prayed our prayers there. And i do admire the kids’ endurance coz my beloved and i basically stayed for sooooooo many hours doing ibadah and reading Quran inside the mosque and yet, the kids without much mumbling and grumbling stayed with us, armed with some toys naturally. Of course the fact that the inside of the mosque is equipped with air condition helped a lot as well.

People say, be careful with what you say and think when you are in the holy land. I do agree totally. Having prayed at the inside part of the mosque all the time for so many days, there was one time i thought to myself.. i thought…*hmm… i wonder how it would feel like to pray outside the mosque in the open?*….Wallah… and the thought was immediately answered! We were a bit late that evening for our isyak (Yatsı) prayer and we had to pray outside in the open. There was another time, i was thinking…* hmm..i wish i dont need to follow the visit the group would be making to this one place. I’d rather spend more time at the mosque and read Quran*… Yup.. permission granted and somehow…somewhere we couldnt manage to join the tour group for the trip. Just imagine..those were only thoughts and wishes…what if they were words?? Yup… be careful with what u wish for…even in thoughts…..I never regretted those thoughts and i was glad too that i had spent as much time i could in the mosque reading and praying…In fact, i think i had not read sooooooooooooooo many pages of Quran for soooo many years now. I think my reading fluency has improved a lot since then..

I was also proud to see so many people from the two regions i love both in Medina and Mecca. Whereever i turn, i could hear words in Turkish and Indonesian/Malay languages. Even the writings on the sign boards at the garden of jannah were written, among the languages,turkish and Indonesian. Where ever i go, the women guards of the mosque would speak to me in Indonesia. It goes to show of the vast quantity of people from these two regions who visit this place. I was particularly delighted in Medina when i could do my shopping mixing in my Malay, English and Turkish in the conversation with the sellers. Almost everyone can understand the language! Cool!!

Saying farewell to Masjid Nabawi...on our journey to Mecca...

Our journey to Mecca for our umrah started with a stop at a Miqat where we prayed our umrah sunat prayer and say our niat. We did it in a group following our guide. You know how once you are in ihram you are not allowed to kill or harm any animals or plants, right? Guess what i did (not deliberately of course!)… i accidently stepped on the grass!! Everybody was shrieking..*çimenlar basma!!* (Dont step on the grass!!)..i forgot and i did! Hehehe… yup.. the moment we reached Mecca, i paid my fine and gave the money to one of the cleaners in green uniform of Kaabah …

Ah..Kaabah….That is one thing i never thought i would be able to see live, up close and personal. I told you..i did not feel myself worthy of it. The moment we entered the Masjidil Haram entrance, we were told not to look directly in front. We were told to pay our respect to the Kaabah and look down and follow the toes of the person in front of us. Dup Dap…my heartbeart was erratic…I knew that Kaabah was just within reach. When we were told to look up and to stand in line to pray the sunat prayer, I couldnt hold myself any longer. Tears started falling from my eyes. We were told to look at Kaabah (not the sejadah ) while praying coz the real thing was in front of us. We prayed that 2 rakaats and i was practically sobbing in my prayers. What i felt was beyond description. This is Kaabah we are talking about…. you just have to be there .. you will know. Kaabah was…just right there…majestically standing there…so HOLY… We completed our first umrah in a group of 240 turks at almost 2.30am. We did 3 umrahs in total with many many sunnat tawafs till the end of our stay

….My beloved dedicated one umrah for his late mom and another for his late dad.Hatice dedicated one umrah to Meşe hala and another one for Along teyze… and i did for my mom and dad… my beloved told me you can dedicate an umrah for the living but my aunty later told me it is only for the dead… Well… i dunno.. Whatever it is…Allahu alam… It doesn’t really matter ..If Allah accepts..then that is the way it is… If not… It is not part of fate…

As a family, we did loads of sunnat tawaf, dedicating to many close members for each tawaf...The point was….as a family, we moved together to do our ibadahs…we read Quran, we prayed…. With our attentions and intentions 100 percent towards Allah… We had done our tawafs at all hours… under the burning sun…at night…the kids’ endurance under that 50 degree celcius heart was incredible…All they asked was for us to stop at Zam zam tower shopping complex for lunch and they could order coke with loadssssssss of ice from Burger King!

At night, my beloved and I took turn… his turn at 11pm till 2.30am and mine from that time till the morning prayer. That was the time when we were alone..our attention purely…solely towards Allah, not really having to worry about our children’s safety…Tears for each of us was a thing so common for tears represented what the heart was speaking…To be able to touch Kaabah…to smell that rose smell of Kaabah…to be able to pray the sunnat prayer somewhere near Makam İbrahim …to just being able to be there….That is the biggest blessing ever Allah could have bestowed upon us…We were blessed indeed..My beloved told me that no bird will fly over Kaabah and no bird dropping can be seen there… That madem e think….One morning as i was sitting facing the Kaabah..right across the Hajratul Aswad, reading the Quran, in complete calm while waiting for the morning prayer, i thought i saw a big white bird crossing over Kaabah…Was it really a bird? If what my beloved told me is true, that wouldnt be a bird.What was it?..i guess what i saw was either an angel or a jin.. was that a sign that my past sins are forgiven or that Allah is accepting all my prayers? That, I leave to Allah…I know i did my best while i was in the holy land ..and i never regretted every single moment i spent there devoting myself to Allah…

All i know is this… I am grateful to my beloved for allowing us this chance to go there as a family. I see a lot of spiritual development within Hatice and baddin after umrah.. The trip had done them really good…Now, as a family, we make it a point to not miss our prayers… I personally feel some sort of closure of that certain uncertainty that i had felt all those years..Allah had never let me down despite myself deficiency. I know now that my path is forward and hopefully, i will be a better person after this…alongside my beloved…., as a child, a sibling, a family, a friend, and parents. I am truly addicted to the beauty of our stay there. InsyaAllah, if Allah lets us, we would like to go there again…I am totally addicted. But my beloved told me that…he had done his umrah so many times… now I have done my umrah too… so the next time we go there…we should aim for Hajj… Now, we will start replenishing our bank account for a Malaysia trip..and after that..our aim is obvious…May Allah extend his invitation to us again…..insyaAllah….

at almost 2.30am..after the first umrah...

father and son during saie

The turkish group during saie.. my beloved with the red napsack...

the end of the 3rd umrah...

cute cute keloğlan :0)

Hatice drinking the Zam zam... our staple drink ...

Baddin...
A rocker..Minik Haji :0)

Hatice at the Safa..

My beloved... the Kaabah...

A memory we shall imprint in our minds for the rest of our lives....

More photos in my FB...

more photos in my fb...

Thank You for hopping by. Hope to see you again soon... :0)