The inner web...

People say *beggars cant be choosers*...oh..i know that feeling very well... every year at a very certain time of the year that feeling comes in..overwhelming the heart...tarnishing the honor...chip by chip...but thinking of the future....one simply has to swallow one's pride and keep on taking the silent beating....

This time....it was a promise.. made by a supposedly respective big company... unfulfilled for at least 2 years....and the moment they made the effort to sort of fulfilling that promise...this???...where is the integrity? where is the honor? where is the respect.... even though i silently agree with my beloved... i cant help but to hope...only those in my shoes would have been able to understand the need... this desire....it is not in my hands...

there was hope..then it was squashed away... i stopped hoping... then it was that.. and then the hope reappereared..and so close i am indeed to realizing that dream..only to be squashed down flat again...? hmm..

I think life is really interesting at this time...i am at a roller coaster of emotions where happiness can turn into missing..missing can turn into sadness and sadness can turn into confusion and then again happiness and the circle continues on....that if i look at things as the whole perspective, it will be interesting to see of where it will all end up...

I am at a stage of my life where i can finally understand the true depth of *tawakkal*...I am also at a stage where once my emotions are calmed down for a bit.. i truly believe *everything happens for a reason*.. I am not the type to give up..i fight for whatever i believe in... that if in that fight i lose..i can truly say that *the fault was not mine*... but that doesnt change the fact that i am human... i still need to shed a few of my pearly drops when it hurts... i still need a hug when i feel life isnt fair... i still hope even though the path ahead seems impossible....

For now... in reality.. as i am typing this... i have this one feline daughter who gives me that look saying i wanna go out and walk on the green grass... she gave enough hints already.. she even waited in front of the lift and then tried to open the door (as if she could heheheh)... but i gotta feed her human dad breakfast first.... my dream may not be realised... that is indeed not an excuse not to let others ..in this case my feline pakize to have her fill of happiness for the day,eh?

Thank You for hopping by. Hope to see you again soon... :0)